At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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