dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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