I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
