Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
