I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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