I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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