So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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