the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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