u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
