you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
