The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
wow bdsm is so cute
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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