Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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