Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
