pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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