So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
