i permit you to call me
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
