I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
