This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
