Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
