Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
time to smoke my breakfast
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
These tits shall not be calmed
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