i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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