How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You are a genius and a whore.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
