Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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