He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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