what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
