Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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