Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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