I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
