I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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