You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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