You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
