M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
