at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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