gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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