When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
