I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
