You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
