If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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