Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
