i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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