and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
