Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
