So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
