hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
