Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize