help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
