I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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