You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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