took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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