god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
