Sorry, I don't speak sober.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Randomize
