I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
